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Are you a '24' person?
Or a 'Sopranos' person?

by WALLACE BAINE
Originally published Feb. 9, 2007

OK, here's my idea: badges.

You know, those buttons they sell on the counter of novelty shops with funny sayings on them like "Willie Nelson for Surgeon General" or "Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver"?

Get a bunch of those and print this on them: "(Blank) Fan," with the blank being the name of any number of serialized TV dramas or comedies now on the air: "24," "Sopranos," "Desperate Housewives," "The Wire," "Lost," "Weeds," "Battlestar Gallactica," "The L Word," "The Office," "Gilmore Girls," "Ugly Betty," etc., etc. Get a celebrity or two to wear them on their everyday clothes. Retire in Tahiti.

Think of the time and effort you'll be saving people. No more feeling out acquaintances on their interest in "Deadwood." No more having to tolerate a half hour monologue from someone who's going to outline each and every character in a show you've never seen. Those with the same TV obsessions can zero in on each other quickly and painlessly. Think of how efficient your dinner parties will be.

In the realms of literature, music and film, it's easy to point to another era as the golden age. But in television, we're living in that golden age. The rise of cable and subscription TV has opened up vast new frontiers for producers and writers in television. Sure, they'd all love to have the enormous ratings of "American Idol," but in cable such numbers are unattainable. That realization has allowed TV execs to find gold in smaller but devout cult audiences that are much more free from the pressures of dumbing down, and are much more likely to attract and nurture great writers and actors. As a result, couch potatoes (particularly those with an HBO feed) have the kinds of choices that embarrass a pharoah.

Additionally, the DVD revolution has allowed fans to indulge their obsessions without limit. If you're not hung up on keeping current, you can even watch TV without actually "watching TV." If you want to close the curtains, disconnect the phone and watch an entire season of "24" without so much as a bathroom break, hey, knock yourself out.

What's more, episodic TV today is designed on a serial model. Used to that each episode of "Gilligan's Island" or "Charlie's Angels" or "Murphy Brown" offered up a nicely packaged and complete little nugget of entertainment. Each episode addressed a theme or an idea, dealt with it and resolved it in the end. This allowed you to watch occasionally and not feel left out if you missed an episode or two.

Today, the best shows are seamless, one blending into another, subplots evolving and intertwining from one episode to the next. This kind of thing not only is a more accurate reflection of real life, it feeds obsessive behavior in viewers and cements the bonds between fan and show.

So, now we're all of bunch of quivering TV droids dying to connect with like-minded fans. Because of the cornucopia, we have to choose our passions and allegiances, so now there are "Entourage" people and "Six Feet Under" people and "My Name is Earl" people. There are even "The Office (U.S.)" people as distinct from "The Office (U.K.)" people.

Thus, the need for buttons.

Imagine the harmony when gays and straights, blacks and whites, Republicans and Democrats can connect on the basis on their buttons. Imagine the first-date icebreakers ("Mom, I think he's the one; he's into 'Smallville.'!"). Imagine Trump and Rosie hanging out together, putting aside their differences to watch the entire second season of "The Shield."

Imagine President Bush watching Iran's Mahmoud Ahmandinejad on TV and see the "'Lost' fan" button on the Iranian's lapel. He'd be on the phone in no time, "Condi, get me Ahman ... whatever his name is. I think we can deal with this guy."


Home The latest stuff:	Are you a '24' person? Or a 'Sopranos' person? by WALLACE BAINE Originally published Feb. 9, 2007 OK, here's my idea: badges. You know, those buttons they sell on the counter of novelty shops with funny sayings on them like "Willie Nelson for Surgeon General" or "Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver"? Get a bunch of those and print this on them: "(Blank) Fan," with the blank being the name of any number of serialized TV dramas or comedies now on the air: "24," "Sopranos," "Desperate Housewives," "The Wire," "Lost," "Weeds," "Battlestar Gallactica," "The L Word," "The Office," "Gilmore Girls," "Ugly Betty," etc., etc. Get a celebrity or two to wear them on their everyday clothes. Retire in Tahiti. Think of the time and effort you'll be saving people. No more feeling out acquaintances on their interest in "Deadwood." No more having to tolerate a half hour monologue from someone who's going to outline each and every character in a show you've never seen. Those with the same TV obsessions can zero in on each other quickly and painlessly. Think of how efficient your dinner parties will be. In the realms of literature, music and film, it's easy to point to another era as the golden age. But in television, we're living in that golden age. The rise of cable and subscription TV has opened up vast new frontiers for producers and writers in television. Sure, they'd all love to have the enormous ratings of "American Idol," but in cable such numbers are unattainable. That realization has allowed TV execs to find gold in smaller but devout cult audiences that are much more free from the pressures of dumbing down, and are much more likely to attract and nurture great writers and actors. As a result, couch potatoes (particularly those with an HBO feed) have the kinds of choices that embarrass a pharoah. Additionally, the DVD revolution has allowed fans to indulge their obsessions without limit. If you're not hung up on keeping current, you can even watch TV without actually "watching TV." If you want to close the curtains, disconnect the phone and watch an entire season of "24" without so much as a bathroom break, hey, knock yourself out. What's more, episodic TV today is designed on a serial model. Used to that each episode of "Gilligan's Island" or "Charlie's Angels" or "Murphy Brown" offered up a nicely packaged and complete little nugget of entertainment. Each episode addressed a theme or an idea, dealt with it and resolved it in the end. This allowed you to watch occasionally and not feel left out if you missed an episode or two. Today, the best shows are seamless, one blending into another, subplots evolving and intertwining from one episode to the next. This kind of thing not only is a more accurate reflection of real life, it feeds obsessive behavior in viewers and cements the bonds between fan and show. So, now we're all of bunch of quivering TV droids dying to connect with like-minded fans. Because of the cornucopia, we have to choose our passions and allegiances, so now there are "Entourage" people and "Six Feet Under" people and "My Name is Earl" people. There are even "The Office (U.S.)" people as distinct from "The Office (U.K.)" people. Thus, the need for buttons. Imagine the harmony when gays and straights, blacks and whites, Republicans and Democrats can connect on the basis on their buttons. Imagine the first-date icebreakers ("Mom, I think he's the one; he's into 'Smallville.'!"). Imagine Trump and Rosie hanging out together, putting aside their differences to watch the entire second season of "The Shield." Imagine President Bush watching Iran's Mahmoud Ahmandinejad on TV and see the "'Lost' fan" button on the Iranian's lapel. He'd be on the phone in no time, "Condi, get me Ahman ... whatever his name is. I think we can deal with this guy."